Maybe it's the pregnancy but lately...I get teary eyed when Chris tells me he has to go back to study. He shuts himself in the room turns on his music loud and studies for hours. I think for one it breaks my heart to see him work so hard for something and then just struggle to do well on tests and be extremely stressed about them and then to be left alone all day with a nutso 2 year old, being almost 6 months prego, and watching 3 little girls all day long it's really starting to get to me. I'm exhausted. It's horrible that I'm complaining because some people definitely have it worse. I guess what I'm trying to say is..... I NEED A BREAK.....but what mom doesn't.
Friday's are my day off...or the one day I don't watch kids during the day. Well every friday since the beginning of the semester one of the parents I babysit for has come to me asking me to babysit. Usually they give me a time frame but lately they don't stick to it. My complaint for this? When is somebody going to babysit for me? When do I get a break....I babysat Marley today because it was her mom's birthday and she was going to get a massage....A MASSAGE?! Are you serious...I NEED A MASSAGE! HA! I'm sure she deserved one too because she works and is in school...but seriously I babysit for her all the time....When will somebody babysit for me. Hard part is it's different getting somebody to babysit your 2 year old that kind of has a bedtime and a little baby who is simply EASY! A 2 year old you have to keep an eye on and play with and talk to and answer all their questions and listen to them whine at you, clean up all their messes and so on. (Okay don't be upset...this is totally me venting....just having a rough day is all...)
Another thing....We have lived in our same ward for just over a year now...We first moved in and from December to June I had two visiting teachers...of which it was akward to visit with them....They visited me twice in those 6 months....I miscarried back in June and I think a few people knew but it was the middle of the night and the next day I had kids....no time to be sad or feel all the ridiculous pain...well I still did just on the couch as 4 kiddos played and fought and cried over toys (at least they were all in diapers at the time) No mourning or being sad over my lost child. Since then guess how many visiting teacher's I've had? NONE! ZIP ZERO ZILCH! Who are they you ask? I HAVE NO IDEA! I'm sure it happens all the time but seriously? man I really could use somebody taking their time once a month to come and visit with me...ask me how I'm doing...offer to help me or let me call them if I EVER need anything. So I'm not even a great visiting teacher but I know who my girls are and I do my best to check in on them. I'm not even getting that! I don't even know what their names are! Another thing...I let my friend in the Relief Society presidency know...well she told the RS president who said she would look into it...Well guess who moved last weekend....HA yeah the RS president. BUMMER! So I'm stuck here with my almost 6 month prego self breaking down everyday for myself, because of my 2 year old, and for my sweet hubby who works too hard trying to make a good grade in a class.
I guess I need to get over it just like everyday. Thank goodness for Tangled because it seems to be the only real thing saving me from ripping my hair out right now. (OKay I have lots of other things going for me too BUT that's not my point...Venting remember?) The one show Grayson will watch and not whine and complain at me during....Now back to my afternoon alone by myself with that nutso two year old as I feel bad for my sweet hard working hubby. He takes a test tomorrow afternoon then he is mine for the rest of the weekend thank goodness.
On my last note....WE BOUGHT A KING BED!!!! Probably one of the only other things going for me. We bought it last night picked it up today and are getting it all set up tonight. Oh boy I can't wait to sleep on it. It's heavenly and cushiony and firm all at the same time. Thank you Tax Returns :)
Sith Lord Grayson...fresh out of the shower. (not sure why the pic came out like this)
The best show ever...TANGLED!
No other movie does this to my child. haha
And here it is....hubby has a test tomorrow so give me a break it will be set up tonight! Notice the turqoise striped pillow thingy? yes a body pillow...I finally gave in I've been that miserable at night. We will see how it goes.
And yeah being in Dental School for 4 years? It's gonna kill me...thank goodness for Prayers and hopefully I can make some good friends.
Like I said...JUST ADJUSTING.
LOVE the king! Chris and I have been fortunate enough to always have had a king bed and we have always loved it. I can stretch my arm straight out and still not touch him. We even have plenty of room with the baby and dog on the bed with us...great for Sunday family naps :-) Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way with the whole visiting teaching thing! We've been here nearly two years and I can't even remember the last time I got a visit from anyone! Sad. We should go on a prego break together and not have to worry about kids husbands and dishes haha
ReplyDeleteSorry you are having a rough time. I wish therevwas something I could do from here to help. Just remember it's ok to say no sometimes. If you need a break, take one! Hopefully the venting helped and the king size bed :) I don't know how we ever lived without ours!
ReplyDeleteThanks to all of you for your extra support and understanding. :> I seriously seem to be more emotional than I was with Grayson. Yes the King bed has definitely helped....I have SPACE now :> I really need to learn to say no but I can be a people pleaser sometimes and when it comes to money I really struggle saying no but after Friday it's gonna have to happen. Feeling much better today yet still super tired as I know all of you have experienced. :>
ReplyDelete